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Please provide final feedback to the creators of this submission below:​

  • What did you like or love about this submission?

  • What did you find confusing or unclear?

  • What suggestions do you have to make it stronger?

Dylan

I like how you touched on how children can feel angry at their parents for abandoning them, and take their anger out on their current guardians.
Nothing seemed confusing for me.
How about have the kid realis that the robot has been more of a parent to him, then his real parents ever where.

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Max

interesting story. why did the kid ends up on the space station? great work!

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Dylan

I like the plot of this story. Why is the kid mad at the robot. Also, next time bring something to block out the background noise.

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Haley

I like this idea great story. On the other side of the vent it could be an actual world and not space.

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Olivia

I love how your story takes place in a fictional world, but it has elements of real-life such as a space station similar to that of a plane. The age of a robot kid is a little confusing. If it is to show him growing up around the space station, I think it would be clearer to show him as a baby with maybe a spaceship in the background. I love how the dad looks in the beginning. Setting a description of the character before heading into the meat of the setting, being when he finds the vent, allows the audience to feel as though they have taken a journey with truly understanding the character and where he is coming from.

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Spaceship Boy

The kid has grown up on the space station with no one but his robot parent to keep him company. One day, he finds a vent in his room. What could lie behind this locked vent?

Special Thanks:

Team:
Lonely Hearts

Christian, Jose, Quang Khai, Romel

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