Manuela

Hi Jiwoo, you always find a way to surprise me. I now make so much more sense of the story spine. I loved the act 1, and I am so excited to see whats coming. I got to relate with Stella and that melancholic feeling of holding on to something that made you happy, to a memory that doesn't exist anymore. My parents are divorced and I too also still keep up some traditions we used to do, just to hold on to that feeling and I think this is such a powerful moment for the audience to emphasize with Stella. I didn't;t find anything unclear and I can't wait to se what happens next!

Tyler

Great job Jiwoo! Your act 1 really leaves me hanging... and I LOVE THAT! I am curious is stella understands her parents got a divorce and where her dad is exactly in her life now. I think adding maybe a component where Stella realizes her parents are split up may help.

Jiwoo

Hey Tyler:)
I was planning to add a couple of shots where Stella learns the situation in act 1 this week, but I was running out of time🥲😂
Still, thanks for your advice!

Jiwoo (1 like)

Hi Elizabeth :)

First of all, thanks so much for sharing the unclear part with my act 1. I'm not sure if it’s only me, but I tend to forget that I’m the only one who knows about the world I’ve created, so my stories sometimes omit the information that should not be omited🥲 I am planning to add a short dialogue that introduces this mythical city to Stella and audience. I really appreciate your advice :)

Colin

Hello Team: Jiwoo, this is Colin Cameron from Team: Bro Ham Cam. I love this story because it reminds me of myself and my reason for signing up for Story Xperiential and I would imagine a lot of other group's reasonings: To never give up on your passions and keep pursuing them no matter what they are and how old you are. It is awesome that Stella wants to keep telling her stories no matter how old she is.
There is nothing that I find confusing or unclear, I just am assuming (not 100% sure) that Stella's dad does not have a big impact on her life anymore since they got divorced. I am curious as to whether what happened between her parents on the day Stella was not picked up from school has anything to do with the rest of the story?

Jiwoo

I am so happy that you could relate to Stella’s situation. This story and Stella are inspired by my personal concerns and wants, which are mainly about writing :) So I’m still struggling with the moral part, cuz I don’t know, maybe there are so many different thoughts and emotions I’m going through about this issue..?! And your comment about how we all are pursuing our passion no matter what and how the situation is kinda gave me room to organize what I really wanted to talk about. I guess it’s to not doubt yourself. Wow, yeah. I think I’m having a little Eureka moment right now😂

And let me try to explain what happened the day Stella was not picked up till dark. Stella’s parents’ divorce procedure took longer time than they thought. Since it was after the summer solstice, the sky got darker sooner than usual. Stella, not knowing what was going on, felt terrified and lost. She felt the sky was even darker and more intimidating than it actually is. This emotion, which she had felt for the first time destroyed her sense of safety. It was a trauma to her. The insecurity and self-doubt that she started to have since that day was the key to her way in the Lost and Found City.

So to recap, that day gave Stella internal scars that formed her current personality.
Hope this answered your question :)

Manuela

Jiwoo, I think the part where the parents forgot to pick her up from school, is actually normal for a dysfunctional family. At least from my personal option, my parents, specially my mom, used to forget to pick me up all the time, and back then we didn't had cellphones in school, so I would just be waiting for long hours until she finally came form me. I know this is maybe not the situation for every kid, but it's for sure not very distant from the reality of others. Maybe I would show a bit what the parents where doing and why they forgot.

Elizabeth

Great story! I love Stella's design as well. I'm wondering about the City of Lost & Found. Is this an established part of the world, as in is it common knowledge? My guess would be it is due to her seeming to know what it was. I'm curious if you might be able to introduce it somewhere within her childhood flashback.

Jiwoo

Hi Elizabeth :)

First of all, thanks so much for sharing the unclear part with my act 1. I'm not sure if it’s only me, but I tend to forget that I’m the only one who knows about the world I’ve created, so my stories sometimes omit the information that should not be omited🥲 I am planning to add a short dialogue that introduces this mythical city to Stella and audience. I really appreciate your advice :)

Enkhee

Hi Jiwoo,
I adore your story. I love the beginning. I think maybe give the mom a little excuse for her ignorant behavior. Maybe she was too busy to feed the family alone. Maybe she was fogged with grief.
I am looking forward to the next act. Good luck!

Jiwoo

Hi Enkhee :)
Yeah, I am definitely going to give Stella’s mom more grounds for her ignorance! And yes, it is due to her lack of time and energy after her long day in work. Actually, Stella will find this out in Act 2, so stay tuned ;)

Hansen

Love the idea of a story about telling stories. What I found a bit unclear was how the City of Lost & Found fits into the story. What is it? And how will it help her tell stories more effectively? Maybe some of the stories her parents tell could mention this city so that there is more setup for her to embark on her journey?

Jiwoo (1 like)

Hi Hansen:)
Thanks for your feedback, and you deserve a peek into my brain garage! The idea of the lost and found city was inspired by the room of requirement from the Harry Potter series. So, in my story, it’s supposed to be where the lost souls find what they need. In Stella’s case, her parent’s sudden divorce took away her sense of security. This made Stella more obsessed with her mom’s interest, and by realizing that ‘mom may not consider me seriously’ she feels lost. That’s why she visits the Lost and Found city! Perhaps, what I can do is add a brief dialogue about a mysterious tale of the city when the family is having the “The Story Time”

Antonio

Hello, this is a cute start and an interesting premise. I can empathize with Stella. It is a little confusing why one day the family tradition stopped. I had to come back and realize there was "divorce" write on the page in the drawing. A good idea would be that the mom has to tell Stella that from now on it is only them two, and perhaps the mom tries to keep the storytime but without success. Something else a little confusing is that we spend a long time with Stella as a child and then the twist in the story really comes when she is grown with her mom 5 years later. / Would you consider starting the story with Stella 5 years later, and go directly with the story about the flyer? Maybe the part of her childhood is something we can find out as a flash back later, if really needed. I hope this is helpful! I want to see more about Stella!

Jiwoo

Hi Antonio, thanks for your feedback!
I think it would be a good idea to add a couple of dialogues about the divorce! I was trying to tell the story from Stella's perspective, in which her parent's divorce might be so out of nowhere. Probably that's why you are confused with the sudden divorce. Also, I'm still wondering about how to show Stella's background as it's an essential part of the story. I really liked your flashback idea, but then currently I'm not so sure about what to replace the emotional buildup that connects audience to Stella 🥲
Still, thanks for mentioning about it!