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Please provide final feedback to the creators of this submission below:​

  • What did you like or love about this submission?

  • What did you find confusing or unclear?

  • What suggestions do you have to make it stronger?

Makena

You have done a amazing job on details in your submission!! Amazing work 😊👏

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Sam

interesting story, I think it could use more polish near the end. The art is really cool!

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Thomas

I love all of the character you brought to Fynn at the beginning. It really helped me to connect and engage with the story after that.

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Mason

I think you guys did a very great job on the story and illustrations, and did a good job on connecting the parts together.

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Tanner

Amazing Drawin you've got their and it's cute :)

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Christian

good

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Eva

Fynn is adorable, and this story feels like a familiar one.

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Zoe

I really like the story so far! you mentioned Fynn didn't talk to a lot of the other bugs at the park because he felt content with his current friends so i think it would be cool to see him interact with other bugs he normally doesn't to get home.

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James

I like the story of the fireflies which can be a feature film, nothing was unclear and again the pictures are a job well done.

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Mónica

Wow, i really like your artwork:), your story It’s so interesting

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Kyla

I absolutely love your story and the art that goes with it. Nothing was unclear or confusing. I'm looking forward to seeing how this story plays out in Act ll.

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Anton

The story is amazing, this definitely needs to be made into a movie!!

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Anton

The story is amazing, I got hooked right away!! This needs to be made into a movie!!!🫠

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Tiffany

I like the idea and it has great description.

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Story

I just watched your story spine and your act one is great! I think my only suggestion is to make the characters talk, instead of describing everything. Like maybe when they're in the jar Fynn is telling his parents they'll find a way home, instead of just thinking about it. Can't wait to see the story continue. By the way, your art is fantastic!

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Odin

I like the way you stated your mind on the topic

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Donovan

I like the idea of a different character of the firefly. Very good description.

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Ian

I love the idea great work so far.

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Mia

I love the firefly’s! Great idea

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Sam

Awesome job great idea

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2) What you think about this submission:​

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Act 1 Storyreel

Once upon a time, there was a firefly named fynn who lived at a park with his friends and family. At this park, Fynn is known to be quite kind hearted amongst his fellow fireflies. He’s always helping his parents and if he’s not doing that, then he’d be hanging out with his childhood bestie, Ryder. Although there’s a bunch of other bugs at the park, Fynn has never really interacted with them before. But that fact never bothered him since he was content w his current lifestyle.
Everyday the fireflies would sleep under the tall grass during daylight and at night they would all rise from the grass to dance and frolic with each other. However, instead of joining the other fireflies to dance, most of the time Fynn and Ryder would go up to the tallest tree at the park and star gaze. This is what Fynn waited for every night, especially when the moon was full.
Until one night, while all the fireflies were out, Fynn and his parents unexpectedly got snatched by a little girl who was catching fireflies and taking them to her mamas house. Ryder and a bunch of other fireflies tried to follow the little girl and figure out a plan to get the 3 back. But the little girl was too fast for their tiny bug wings. Fynn stayed awake the whole journey, watching from the inside of the jar as he and his parents got farther and farther from home. Maybe, he thought, if he can memorize the way back home he can successfully make it back with his parents.

Literally thank you to anyone who gave me feedback! Your comments really helped to shape the story and helped me come up with ideas, so thank you once again! I had a great time doing this program and learned new techniques I’ll use in my actual classes so thank you to the Pixar crew as well :D

Special Thanks:

Team:
Bonk

Bailee

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