Andrea

I found your story on Week 6 and I’ve become hook-ed! (You get it! Lol) The illustrations and the way you created the storyboard works perfectly! I feel that the way you’ve created the story has flowed amazingly. I even love the storyreel without any music (I do believe that the story works really well without any dialogue included so maybe you should only work with music for the storyreel). Hope to see your storyreel completed in the next week, so excited!

Emma

Great boards and great story. I think the only things I am confused about would be why the water getting close to the captain and the sibling seeing it isn't as big of an issue to them. If someone saw water almost looking like they were gonna get grabbed, wouldn't they freak out. I also feel like I might not be catching the significance of the family photo. I think it shows a time when the siblings used to like to be around each other, but if that was the case, why would she be so sad to see it when she finds it on the floor. It makes me feel like there's a bigger idea about the photo that I'm not getting. I think if the photo was expanded on more it could make the piece stronger. If the sibling's relationship was given more backstory about why the captain is the way she is with the brother, then it could add a more intense reason for their interactions.

Christopher

This is really good. I love the relationship between the siblings. It feels very natural and fun. I can't wait to hear what it's like with music and sound.

Richard

You have a very nice story hear. You have the little sibling who wants to join their big sister on an adventure and all the excitement of a pirate voyage. I like what you did with the water sneaking into her pocket to get the gem. That was a nice clue and highlighted why the water has receded. I would imagine the crew would get curious about the walls of water and what might happen if they try to get close to it. A way you might ratchet up the tension is when the little brother tells the crew that giving back the gem would bring back the water. Then, when the crew has had enough, they'll be a mutiny as well as a betrayal by her little brother. Then you can explore how that all unfolds and really add pressure to the captain's decision. Also, I'm not sure about the guy in the cage. I think maybe if there was some audio that might help, but since he doesn't make an appearance for the rest of the piece, I'm left to wonder about his involvement. Does he warn them about the gem? How is he there in the first place. Does he warn them and they don't listen or is he too crazy to understand his warning, but the little brother kind of figures it out? He seems valuable to the story, but I'm just now sure how. I really enjoyed this though and you'd done a great job clearly illustrating what's happening. I, for the most part, understood the action even without audio. I think in this polish phase you've got something really great and I look forward to the final version.

AJ

I really like where you took the story and I can really feel the character's personality and chemistry. It would have been nice to have some audio or voice over but overall nice drawings!

Maria Teresa

Hi Croxi
It is very beautiful, is clear and the drawings super..........incredible-
I suppose that later you are going to put some kind of sound, noises or water, thing like that would help even more-
Congratulationes, very good job.

Aranza

Hello! Is a cute story! The visual narrative is very clear.
I just think it would be nice if the jewl has some other meaning. Why the ocean wants it?

Javier

I like you intension of showing everything just with drawings, and it is very clear the whole process. I really enjoy the third act, on the importance of the picture of the family, it is something small but with a lot of power between the two characters. Also the part of the water getting back was really cool. Also it is a different pirate tale, and it is very clear story wise.

Fiona

Whoa good job! Love the scene transitions. Brilliant. The only thing I would say is it would be even better if you could find a way to build the tension even more in the second part of act two. Raise the stakes somehow.
Maybe make it clear they have been there for a really long time and are maybe running out of food. Or there is maybe some event they are going to miss. Maybe the jewel, for example, Is part of a bigger mission that they are at risk of not completing because the captain is distracted by greed. Haha but maybe I’m getting ahead of myself