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Please provide final feedback to the creators of this submission below:​

  • What did you like or love about this submission?

  • What did you find confusing or unclear?

  • What suggestions do you have to make it stronger?

Esmeralda

Hey!
I really love your art style and this story is so fun but also has a really good moral. I like the character Axel because his change was really nice to see, and he was fun to watch. Something about them being kangaroos too makes the story seem more enjoyable to watch because I've never seen any kangaroo characters besides Kanga and Roo from Winne the Pooh of course but these characters are so interesting! I think something that could make the story stronger is showing more of Axels character before he changed for the better so we can really see him how much of an impact he had over his friends. I really like this story though and everything is explained so well! Awesome job!

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Seth

Hey, thank you guys for all of your feedback! We've talked it through and retooled the story in a big way, largely inspired by your suggestions.

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Christopher

Hey there! Great story. I love the uniqueness of the situation and how simple base of the story is. One of the things that was unclear to me was why Axel wanted to fight everyone. You say he does it just for fun, but does he hope that this will make him popular or bring him fame/notoriety? From your moral it sounds like he's acting out due to his loneliness so I think you could show more to connect these two concepts.

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Klaas

Nice short and clear story. The design of the kangaroo is fun.
Also the moral of the story is clear and present in the entire storyspine. Ir rings very true.

What I do find confusing is why Axl is picking on (dangerous) maffia members, instead of just other kangaroos. What is the backstory there?

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Jasmine

I love your characters and designs for the kangaroos, they're such fun. I do find the connection between the story and the moral to be a bit confusing. I agree that one shouldn't needlessly pick fights and that having friends can help you undo bad behaviors but that doesn't really support the premise. My suggestion would be to showcase Axel's bad behavior more. Him picking fights with the mafia isn't clean behavior per se but its veiled with vigilanteism so it muddles against the theme a bit. Maybe he can be a bit more revenge-fueled after getting his legs broken, and maybe to the point it becomes toxic enough that his new friends end up calling him out on it since he gets so hellbent on revenge he doesn't realize how he's treating his new friends. It doesn't have to be that exactly, but I think it may help to highlight the "friends calling out bad behavior" themes you're going for. It also feels a little unsatisfying the mafia seem to get away with doing massive physical damage to Axel with no repercussions. I think after Axel tries to call off the fight and wanting to go clean, Tony could reject it and still try to take him down. Maybe Tony could be the antithesis to Axel like he's been wanting revenge on him for years of tormenting his mafia members, but it ultimately leads to Tony's downfall. These are just suggestions/ideas though, you know your story best. I think overall the elements are there though and there's potential in here, looking forward to how this develops.

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Florian

The characters and overall art is really good. The only thing that is not fully clear to me is why he is picking fights with the mafia? It sounded like he could have always went to boxing gyms if he needed to let off steam?

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Alex the Kangaroo Story Spine

Story spine!

Just wanna say thanks to my teammate Seth, who is super creative and hard working and helped keep our production on track. This wouldn't have been made without his partnership, and I am eternally grateful for all he's done in the making of this project.

I'd also like to thank my sister Emily, who though she didn't have time to work on the production with us, gave me all the support and sisterly love I needed to see this through.

Finally, I'd like to thank Dorie, the head of communications at my school for helping to finance registration for our team and for believing in us.

Special Thanks:

Team:
Communist Velociraptors

Abbie, Dorie, Emily, Seth

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