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What did you find confusing or unclear?
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What suggestions do you have to make it stronger?
Niccolo
I like how there is a cause and effect of using the time power, but I dont understand how she lot her friends
Dara
This is the most detailed story I have seen so far. Nothing is unclear and everything is easy to understand. I just want to know why she is so jealous? Also, did any of her friends still hang out with her? When she tries to change her past, how does it affect her future?
David (1 like)
I love the amount of detail because I can really imagine her as a person and her emotional aspects. I feel a connection to her already because of how real she seems. Why is she so jealous and how does her jealousy impact her day to day life? Altering the past is a nice concept but how will she change the past and how will it affect her future? Does her actions in the past affect her future? What were the characteristics of her that made her lose her friends? I would love to see her thought process while navigating problem solving.
Finn
wht was the mistake that she made in the past
Cam
I like this idea because of how she has the ability to alter the past. I think this could become a great story and you did a good job describing the external features.
Lila
This is so creative! Love the way you presented this. I feel like you could add more details on how she lost her friends and bring more of the story out!
Tyler
Nice concept, but I'm a bit left out about how she lost her friends, but overall a good solid idea.
Henry
I like the accepting the past idea. What mistakes did she make in the past?
Harris
This makes me wonder why is she Jealous on the inside and also what did she do to make her friends go away. I like the part where she needs to except her fate.
Cooper
I think the conflict should be improved upon, but the character is good outside of that.
Odin
why did she lose her friends?
Brennan
I like the thing about how she needs to accept the past it makes me wonder how man other people need to accept there past and what in he past does she need to accept
Peyton
Nice work
Erin
I think the drawing is great and I loved the story but you could try to make the story more clear and easier to understand but besides that it was great
Kylie
I really liked your character description.
I wonder how she will solve her problems, though, nice work over all!
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