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Please provide final feedback to the creators of this submission below:​

  • What did you like or love about this submission?

  • What did you find confusing or unclear?

  • What suggestions do you have to make it stronger?

Jacquelin

The drawings are very nice. It would have been nice to zoom in to each one to see it a little bigger. Everything was great for the story.

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Fiona

Such brilliant expressions! I wonder if this might be made stronger by giving more emphasis to how all the other animals are talking about the northern lights, just like a couple more panels because this is so important to the story

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Varian

Oh nooo! The boi drank coffee!!! xD
I love it! Nothing is unclear. We have everything greatly presented in beautiful thumbnails. The Bear wants to see what his friends see and stumbles over a cup of caffeine.
Can't wait to see how that backfires! Poor thing!

Ready for Act 2!

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James (1 like)

I agree with other. Great work... I think you have built the story very well. I will love to see how Act2 will spice things up.

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Bethany (1 like)

I feel sorry for the poor bear. That would be sad to miss out on something as magical as the northern lights. One thing that is unclear to me is why does he want to drink the coffee when he first sees it? One thing that could make it stronger is that his friends could try to brainstorm ways that he wouldn't have to miss out on the fun.

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Shayleen (1 like)

Hey, JV! I was looking forward to your Act One sequence! I think this is such a creative story that causes my imagination to run wild. At this point, there isn't anything that is unclear or confusing to me. Your boards and dialogue are very clear and go at a great pace. Nice work! I'm excited to see what you have next week! :D

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Madeleine (1 like)

Hi Team JV, congratulations! I like the concept of your film, and am excited to see where Aban's journey takes him. One thing I found unclear was why Aban decides to taste the fluid and follow the scent rather than continue on his way to hibernation? A suggestion I have to make Act I stronger is perhaps to explore how Aban's attitude or perspective changes on his way to hibernation, is he looking for an excuse not to hibernate, and is the fluid the excuse?

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Jiwoo (2 likes)

Hi JV!

I'm sooo happy to see your work! It took my heart since last week :)
So far, not much is unclear. What I liked about your storyboarding is that your characters have great facial expressions!
They are so lively and clear that I could understand exactly what's meant to be said. Also, facial expressions spiced up the whole art! I gave a unique vibe to it.
Also, the idea that Aban figured out the cafe's logo and the one on the cup matched was so cute😍😍
Thanks for your great art and hope to see act 2 soon!

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Act 1 Thumbnails - Borealis

Once upon a time, there was a bear named Aban, who lived in the Boreal Forests. Because he lives alone, he really enjoys the company of his friends, Omid and Maloos. The spring and summer are generally a pleasant time for him, but when the last leaf of autumn falls, Aban feels a sense of gloom. While most animals begin getting excited for the winter snow and talking about plans to see the Auora Borealis, Aban can only wish to join. You see, every winter, Aban has to go into hibernation, and consequently has never gotten to see this magical Aurora Borealis he's heard so much about. After he says goodbye to his friends, he goes into his cave, and sleeps for several months. When he finally emerges in spring, Omid and Maloos are quick to greet him. They do their best to avoid talking about their winter adventures, although it's difficult to when all the other animals are always buzzing about the Borealis. One winter though, while he was heading back to his cave to hibernate, Aban stepped on some litter containing some dark, bitter fluid. After he tasted it, he realized he stopped yawning and no longer felt sleepy. He ends up following a scent trail that leads him to a cafe based on the edge of the forest. Realizing the logo on the litter matched the one on the cafe, he deduces that this must be where he can get more of this magical drink.

Everyone who gave me feedback on this story :)

Special Thanks:

Team:
JV

Jasmine

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