Emily

This is so cute! Even without audio, I can guess what’s going on. They had a race and the bear was slower than his friends. The friends seem to be upset that he can’t keep up, but then they huddle together and make a plan. The plan… hide and seek! I’m guessing from the description the bear is going to have to search across the world for them. If I got that all right, it’s super cool. If not, I’m sorry. Audio would help a lot. But keep going it’s gonna be awesome

Pietro

Hey! I love your first act, the simple cute design, and the choice of going 100% visual. I found the plot a little confusing, your description helped, but I suggest you include the story spine script with your voice so that we can fully understand what's going on. I would love to see more in case they allow you to update your story with submission. If you do, please reply to this comment so that I can get a notification and watch it.

Gabriel

Hello Team Clemson Productions! I really liked your storyboarding! I think you managed to, even without audio, communicate the needed information with your visuals! The race and hide and seek game were clear and the friendship between characters was established! However, there was a crucial piece of information that I think was a bit unclear and that I only understood because of your synopsis, the fact that the main character loses their friends. By your last panel, we learn that they have left the vicinity of the main character but not that the main character has lost them. A suggestion I'd make would be to add a few panels showing the main character searching for them and slowly tiring or getting more confused at not finding them and close off the sequence with them feeling lonely without their friends. To really conclude the first act and set the second one in motion, you should also add a short sequence of the main character gathering the will/ courage to not give up and keep looking for their friends. Great work!

Christina

Hi! Wow, these characters are so cute. I really like the design of your main character, the little ogre creature. Your visuals are so clear! I love how you used shading in the first image to show me the town and surrounding area; even in the simple drawing, I knew it was a fantasy place. Your opening scene with the running race is so streamlined and so clear. I love your use of different line weights that build a world in only black and white. The only place I was confused after the three friends were talking in a huddle (cool camera angle for the huddle, by the way!). Because there wasn't audio, I don't know what the conversation was, and I couldn't tell what was happening with the dinosaur talking to the crowd of creatures in the next frame. But I definitely caught on that the little ogre was sad afterwards, and that his friends left. Since your visual language is so clear, I wonder...instead of relying on dialogue to tell the story in the "friends huddle" conversation scene, is there a way to use visuals to communicate that part of the story?