Please provide final feedback to the creators of this submission below:
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What did you like or love about this submission?
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What did you find confusing or unclear?
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What suggestions do you have to make it stronger?
Julie
You have some beautiful illustrations and I love Lila's story! The 1st person narrative does work beautifully. I would love to know more about the friendship as it develops. I wish you well in your future art endeavors!
Pietro
I love that the VO is told in the first person. I love how I can immediately empathize with Lila. The first day on the bus is a great example of showing conflict instead of just telling the audience about it and seeing her crying when her dad doesn't go with her is a great choice to establish the conflict of facing the world. I also love that there are clear antagonists at school, so her fears do turn into reality. I love the turning point of the girl having an accident, that was unexpected. Nothing was confusing to me. My suggestion to make the story better is to integrate the turning point of the bully breaking her leg into a situation where your protagonist has to grow. It works as it is, but your main protagonist feels a little passive and things almost resolve by themselves. What if your main character is tempted to let others make fun of the girl, but later decide to forgive her and talk to her?
Christina
p.s. Nothing was confusing or unclear. I don't have any critical suggestions, but I do have one idea! Once you develop the artwork fully, it could be really cool to use lighting and color to compliment Lila Day's emotions during her story. When the kids are making fun of her, the lighting could darken and the colors could go more gray. Then when she's confidently talking about her cute glasses, the lighting could brighten and the colors could be saturated!
Christina (1 like)
I love Lila Day, and I love the 2D graphic artwork of the characters you used! Lila Day in her wheelchair with her cute classes and fun pink theme is really wonderful. (And I agree: her glasses are Super Cute.) This is such a wonderful story. I love the first person narration and it feels just right. I'm a big fan of children's books and would love to see this as a children's book in addition to it being a short animated film!
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Final
The story of one strong courageous little girl named Lila Day, that was born 1lb. Survives her early birth, but lives with disabilities. At 3 she starts school and learns to navigate so many new things, like a school bus ride, playing on the play ground and meeting new people .
I would like to thank my grand daughter Lila Day, for being my inspiration to this story because she is the strongest, happiest little girl. Watching every obstacle that she has had to overcome, show me her determination she has to make her mark on the world.
Special Thanks:
Team:
Dream Team
Brenda, Carmela, Cassidy, Rod
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