Luis

Thank you to everyone who has commented or provided feedback, I know this is not a finished story but I appreciate the support from everyone. I will continue to work on my story and I am glad that even though it was not finished many of you liked the idea of my story, that gives me a lot of motivation to finish it even if the program is over.

Pietro (1 like)

Hey Luis, your story reel is going so well. I immediately empathize with your main character as delivery people are often unappreciated. I also love the striking inciting incident and how the story tells itself visually. Your art and the character design are also really cool. My suggestion to make it even stronger is to add a voice-over using the story spine template we learned about. Please don't leave this story unfinished, it has great potential!

Luis

Thank you, Pietro, Your feedback means a lot to me. I wish I could have finished the story on time for the awards but unfortunately, life happens and things don't always go to plan but I will for sure continue working on my story. I learned so much on this course and hate to see that I could not make it but that is what it's all about, never giving up on our dreams. Thank you for the feedback!

Christina (1 like)

Luis, I love your main character's design! The details on the SpeedCo helmet and Food Dash backpack are so simple but tell me so much. (I love your fake company names, too! Reminds me of how Pixar does it!) I couldn't hear any sound, so I thought I'd tell you the story I saw in your visuals: "A racer with a need-for-speed zooms the wrong way down a narrow road, the world whipping by them! They glance down at their phone map app and we realize they're not a racing hero, just a food delivery person, when--CRASH! They zoomed too hard and landed on the hard concrete. They look up to see a glowing light--a portal, maybe? --fill the alley. Our main character reaches one finger out to the portal, and becomes-- a real racer! They receive racing gloves and jump right into a real race car race. They win!!! They're on the podium, and the crowd is cheering! But something happens -- they fall? Someone pushes them? They get attacked on the podium and fall down? -- they're lying on the ground, having fallen while delivering food. The race was all a fantasy. They look up, however, and see--an add for a Racing Academy!" Great boards. Looks like an awesome start to your film!

Luis

Thank you so much for your feedback and for letting me know about the audio, I have updated the video file, seems there was an error during upload. It has audio now, also I am very amazed at your narration of the story, even though it had no audio you seem to have captured and understood the main story idea very well and that means I must be doing something right if the story was able to be understood without any narration during the original video. :)

Emmanuel (1 like)

I like how he was able to advance from “rags to riches”. Delivering on a scooter to racing F1.
However, Im not entirely sure why he ends up ok the floor or how he got to F1. Did he get to F1 or is that his dream?
I like the story and your illustrations are really well done and clear. I’d suggest thinking about the character arc and the steps he takes to fulfilling that