ImaginXP

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Rocko

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Navya

I love the story. Thank you so much for providing this wonderful story out here. It was awesome experience to catch out your story here.

Andres

I love the tale, and the way to talk about mexican culture and traditions

Ani (1 like)

I love the story and the characters. Just only when the father walks with his son for the first time. Maybe more short than now.

Francisco

Thank you, Ani! Your comments are taken on count — all the comments really help me for improvement :)

Shayleen (1 like)

Great job, Francisco! You should be proud of your final project. I like the different compositions you used for your frame - they were creative and communicated the story very well. GREAT job with visual storytelling in a good amount of time. Your story is really unique, but worthy of a feature film, in my opinion. Nice work!

Francisco

Hello, Shayleen! Thank you so much for taking the time to watch my reel and your kind words. :)

Mark (1 like)

First off, great illustrations! Professional quality stuff! It was a good call to capitalize on the strength of your artwork and tell your story through images, alone, and forego narration or dialogue. Great message, as well. Yes, our gifts are given to us to enrich and sustain the world . . . not just ourselves. I love that your main character only succeeds in his quest after he realizes this. Another thing I love is that you have not portrayed Death as Evil, Sinister or Something to be Feared, but simply as Something Inevitable, and, in its own (sometimes difficult to understand) way, Benevolent. And the Mexican Setting and Cultural Basis for your Story is Beautiful and Enchanting! There was nothing I found unclear, and I think this speaks to your ability as an illustrator and your skill in visual storytelling. I would love to see you develop this into a fully realized animated short. I would definitely stand in line to watch it! I hope your submission is considered for an award. Congratulations on completing your Final Submission for the Story Xperiential!

Francisco

Thank you, Mark! I appreciate your words. I am glad to hear it was clear and the story came across without dialogue or narrator (that was the challenge for this final submission). :)

Pietro (1 like)

Hey Francisco! Congratulations on the final version. It's been great to see your story evolving and I love how you were able to tell the entire story with visuals, that's outstanding! The pace of the editing also helps the telling of the story in just 6 minutes. The art is really great and I love the staging, camera angles, visual transitions, and character design. ¡Muchas Felicidades!

Francisco

Thank you so much, Pietro. It means a lot. Grazie mille! :)

Belen (1 like)

AMAZING!!!!! this looks incredible!!!! congrats francisco!!!

Francisco (1 like)

Thank you, Belen! You did an incredible work on your storyreel :)

Belen

gracias francisco!!!

Varian (1 like)

Applause!!! Great imagery. I can see it as a classic animation still! Loved the details where you see lady death in the shadow behind the boy. Great Moral and a satisfying bittersweet end. The plot didn't need any words and pictures showed everything you needed to know. Very self explaining and exciting!
Thank you for introducing us to your story. Bravo!

Francisco (1 like)

Thank you for the nice words, Varian! I am glad you got to watch it and write your comments. :)

Marijke (2 likes)

Great work, Francisco! The reel looks gorgeous with all those beautiful drawings. Pacing is good and the characters are great.
Confusing for me were why the family seems to flee their home in such a hurry. Was it the lack of water or was that something that came later? The sword was confusing to me too. I understand that the father gets it from somewhere to save his wife. But not what it signifies (in the rest of the story). The moment where the mother is dead could use some more seconds, maybe a sad close up from father or son, while at the fountain: I didn't get it until a scene later. When the father dies too. That bit of drama would benefit with some deceleration.
But these are all small remarks for a job very well done. Congratulations!

Francisco (1 like)

Thank you for your comments, Marijke! I will definitely do those improvements on the Mama´s passing and also the plot about the sword (you´re not the first person who tells me this, so I will work on that) Thank you again! :)

Armando (1 like)

Very nice work, loved that you told a story only with visuals, no dialog.

Maybe was me, don't know... but did't get what was the meaning or importance of the sword? Other than that, great characters and story.

My favorite thing about this short is how you were able to build this world with the right amount of details and I believed I was in the dessert, I believed I was inside the pyramid collecting the green elixir. The narrative was amazing, good work.

Francisco

Thank your for taking the time to watch it and sharing your thoughts. The sword and the elixir both are a source of life-water-energy but they are cursed and the only one who used them positively was Pedro - he used the elixir to bring water back for everyone. The sword is the relic Papa went to find to produce water through rain and save his wife (he failed) and he also used it to defend himself against Lady Death (She was not aware of the sword existence and she was intimidated by the sword) That is the reason why Papa gave the sword to Pedro — he inherited the sword to his son so he could face Lady Death in his quest for the Elixir. The source is the relic of Papa as the Elixir is the relic of Pedro. The quest for the Sword is the anticipation for Pedro´s quest for the Elixir. The sword is the energy that brought Pedro back to life for he was the last former owner. :)

Julie (1 like)

Very well done! I love your story and the visuals support it very well! The music chosen works well to highlight the emotional moments. Great job!!!

Francisco

Thank you, Julie! It certainly was a challenge to make the story understandable without the narrating. :)

Kennedi

You added the necessary elements and scenes to the main character. Even though the level of the music is hair too loud at the beginning, which comes across as a tad overwhelming. I'm glad you were able to convey the same story without narration. It's excellent! Well done.

Francisco

Thank you for your comments, Kennedi. Sorry about the level of music, I meant it that way to show musically the "Elixir" theme. :)

James (1 like)

All I can say is well done. I love that you got it down 6 min. I really like how he became the lightning zapped back to try and save his dad. Keep up the great work and I look forward to seeing your name in the credits one day.

Francisco

Thank you, James. Yes, I kept the comment about Pedro coming back to Papa with the speed of light and I think it works. Hopefully this story gets developed. :)

Álvaro (1 like)

La música está muy bien escogida!! Hiciste un Gran trabajo!! This could very much be a story following the Aesthetics/ world of Coco!! I really liked the ending. I was expecting it, after all you can not win against death. And the Elixir making Water flow, as for water is were life resides...Really well done Francisco! Realmente de mis historias favoritas. Kudos!!

Francisco

Gracias, Álvaro! Thank you for the nice words! Yeah, it kinda remind me of Coco too, so I tried to avoid any major coincidence. I like how you did not expect the ending! :)

Jasmine (1 like)

Your work looks so incredibly professional, I could easily see boards like this on a behind the scenes features for a film! Love your drawings, lighting, your cinematography, and of course your story. I'm so happy to see the final product at the end. Did you compose the score? The music beats really align with the story/drawing beats incredibly well, and it feels like a consistent score as well rather than a scratch track! Bravo on a project well done :)

Francisco (2 likes)

Thank you for the nice words, Jasmine! I am super excited to share the final product with you guys. Jose Revueltas — A mexican composer did the score and I edited it into my reel (It took a lot of work, because I am not an editor but I can tell you I did my best with the time I had. While I was doing it, I couldn´t help wonder what Jose Revueltas would say if he hears how I edited one of his masterpieces... but at the end I think it worked (in a sketch / story reel level) the score supported the mexican orquesta sound, the elixir theme and the beat of the most dramatic scenes — also the ending of his score is beautiful. Thank you again!

Kara (2 likes)

Wow! Your work is just visually stunning and engaging to watch. Congratulations on such a successful submission. I am so excited to see your work in week 8 in its shining glory! I miss the dialogue, but your score is perfectly timed to the visuals it is definitely a different visual experience. I hope you continue this work. :)

Francisco (1 like)

Thank you, Kara. Also thank you for taking the time to watch it. I am glad you enjoyed it. :)