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What suggestions do you have to make it stronger?
Victor
I love space. This is cool
William
Amazing ending! The way the story begins with the character background and understanding their goals, really makes the ending memorable.
Elle
I like how you established Rylan’s wants as a character. It wasn’t just “Rylan likes space,” it was “Rylan likes space *because* of these reasons”, and ultimately it connected me more to him, Declan, and the story overall.
Good job!
Eric
Awesome work. You are doing an incredible service by bringing a spotlight on Spinal Bifida. I think the story's most interesting aspect is the relationship between Declan and Rylan. Tons of opportunities for character development and obstacles that these loving brothers to endure together. Awesome job, all the best to ya!
Tracy
I love the illustrations and the quotes on the images throughout! Such a sweet story! Well done!
Jason
love the representation!
Jasmine
Love your drawings, and I love the premise. It's so sweet. Great job!
Enkhee
Hey, your story is so touching! Enjoyed it so much!
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Gravity
Declan has a little brother named Rylan who has spinal bifida and was never able to walk. Rylan obsesses about space.. why? Because there is no gravity in space. In space, Rylan could play and move about like everyone else. On clear nights, Declan would push Rylan down the boardwalk of Cape Coral, Florida. They would both gaze at the stars and imagine they were traveling through space.
Tonight is a cosmic event called Halley's Comet. Rylan is stoked and has been planning to watch this in the backyard with his brother. There is only one problem...
It just so happens that tonight, Declan's crush, Winnie, is having a party. What will Declan do? Keep his promise or ditch his brother for the girl?
Thank you to the entire FOAMfrat team for coming together and improving the art of storytelling!
Special Thanks:
Team:
FOAMfrat
Brian, Paul, Sam, Tyler
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