Cheyenne

This story has a really great message, and I’m glad you were able to share your short with us! I love that even though the characters don’t have faces sometimes, their emotions still read through their posing and body language. You did a great job, and I hope you continue with it!

Erika

Hi Allison! I’m glad you were able to turn this in with everything else going on in life, I had a similar struggle with my project too.
I love the premise of a wizard being distracted by his daughter, and I really love the resolution of him finding a way to include her in his work. You do an excellent job telling the story with visuals only. Your art is really clear for the most part, there were just a couple frames that were so loose I couldn’t quite tell what was happening.
While this story clearly doesn’t need any dialogue, I do think it will be a lot stronger once you can add some sound affects and maybe even background music to emphasize the emotions that are going on.
I also think the pacing of the story is really good. I like that you don’t rush the cleanup scene since there’s a lot of emotion in there. The overall length is good, if a bit on the short side. There’s room for you to add a little more mayhem before the resolution if you wanted to. I can imagine her making friends with the wizard’s familiar and it showing her where other potions are hidden or some like that. There’s so much room to add to the fun! I hope you do keep working on this, it’s wonderful. :)

Nicole

I really love how the story showed us everything without using words. And really like the reason why the dad changed was because he remember he also started once too. <3

Francisco

Great work so far! I think the story has so much potential. You must definitely continue with this project. :)

James

Creative idea. I like how the child does the opposite, like shake the potion. I hope you continue and fully develop this out.

Kwong Yue

Wow! I love the humour in this! I definitely felt my face smile a couple of times. You also do a fantastic job of showing emotions in your drawing (even with just wireframes!!!). I felt like I was going through an emotional journey with your characters. Can't wait to see this come to life when you do have time.

Cassilda

Don't feel discouraged to share these drawings! Super rough, yes, but they are readable, which is concern number 1. Not to mention how well you used visual storytelling! We truly don't need a single word to understand the story. I thought 2 minutes was too short until I saw your work. Wonderful! I'm interested in following your future work. Do you use social media?

Allison

Hi Cassidla! Yes, I do use social media :) Sorry for the late response, but here's my instagram account! https://www.instagram.com/allisonmartyjarvis/

Enkhee (1 like)

Wow, a divorced, father sorcerer? That is one brand new character! I enjoyed your story and the drawings so much!
Good job! 🎱